


Human

by midnightsnapdragon



Category: Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:50:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3994129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightsnapdragon/pseuds/midnightsnapdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic. Cress digs up some second-era musical archives and Cinder gets curious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human

**i.**

With a triumphant whoop, Cress spun away from her screen. "I win again!"

Cinder groaned. "What is it this time?"

"Second-era musical archives." Cress stood from her chair, looking uncharacteristically smug. "Mostly from the early 21st century." 

Thorne laughed from his position at one of the other screens. "Well, we knew you would win. It's not like you had seven years of practice, or anything. How were we supposed to make second-era music compatible with modern technology?" He turned to Cinder with a teasing grin. "Though _you're_ supposed to be good with this stuff, aren't you?"

"I'm a mechanic, not a hacker!"

Cress stretched her neck to either side, working out a few cricks, before relaxing again. "I think it's time for a break."

"Right you are," Thorne approved. "Let's go see if there are any more spicy noodles."

When the two of them had left, Cinder hovered by her chair, tapping her fingers restlessly against her thighs. With nothing else to do, she drifted over to Cress's screen. Displayed on it were rows and rows of album images - from pianos to mirrors to snow-capped mountains - with various artist and band names in caption. Unable to smother a spike of curiosity, she sat down and began scrolling through, wondering what the histories were behind each song, how different they might be from third-era music.

One cover in particular caught her eye. Cinder leaned closer, making out the album title HEAD OR HEART before tapping it, opening the track list. A row of songs filled the screen.

TRUST  
BURNING GOLD  
BE MY FOREVER  
HUMAN

Upon reading that last one, Cinder stopped.

_Human_.

She opened the audio file. 

A rich female voice echoed through the screen's hidden speakers.

_I can hold my breath. I can bite my tongue.  
I can stay awake for days, if that's what you want._

It was slow and tired, so weary. Cinder found herself sagging into her chair, her energy sapped, like the song had taken all her strength and given her this truth instead. 

_I can fake a smile. I can force a laugh.  
I can dance and play the part, if that's what you ask._

The role of queen was so heavy. She was exhausted.

_... give you all I have ..._

And then – and then - the voice rose, the music swelled, and the song launched skyward.

_I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down_  
_I'm only human, and I crash and I break down_  
_Your words in my head, knives in my heart_  
_You build me up and then I fall apart..._

Cinder pressed a hand to her mouth. Her vision should have been blurring. She should have felt salty dampness on her cheeks.

_I can turn it on_  
_Be a good machine_  
_I can hold the weight of worlds_  
_if that's what you need ..._

It hit a little too close to home.  


**ii.**

Kai found her in front of the screen where Thorne and Cress had left her, curled up in the chair with her arms wrapped around her legs. She raised her head at the sound of his footsteps, but when she saw who it was, she just muttered "I have a headache" and put her head back down.

He knew what that meant. Taking a seat beside her, he asked hesitantly, "Are you okay?"

Instead of answering, she tapped the screen to play a song. His eyes widened when he registered the words, and he suddenly understood why she looked so ... stricken.

When the last mournful note faded, she cleared her throat. "Cress hacked into the American Republic's second-era music archives."

"It's beautiful."

Cinder turned away. "Yeah. It is."

Kai cursed inwardly. He had spoken without thinking. This song would only remind her of her own painful experiences, in its words and in its soulful misery. "Cinder –"

"I never thanked you, have I?" She spun back around to face him, lowering her feet to the floor. "For ending the cyborg draft."

He blinked. "You – what? Oh. You don't have to thank me."

"But I do. It was the first step in establishing equality between cyborgs and humans – valuing all human life, like you said."

He looked down at his folded hands. "I turned a blind eye for too long. Before meeting you, I thought nothing more of it than the next person. So ... really, I should be the one thanking you. You opened my eyes to what was really happening in the Commonwealth. I was the prince – the emperor – and I didn't even know ..." He trailed off, unable to finish.

A corner of Cinder's mouth quirked into a wry smile. "I guess we can both consider ourselves harbingers of change, then."

"Good thing we're going to be monarchs."

She chuckled.

"Cinder?"

"Yes?"

Kai hesitated, unsure how to phrase the question. It had been on his mind for a while, but the moment hadn't ever been right. "Your guardian ... what was it like to live with her?"

Cinder levelled her gaze at him; she knew what he was really asking. Her eyes filled with sadness. "It wasn't good."

"How so?"

Cinder removed a small wrench from here pocket and began twirling it over her fingers. "I was basically her servant," she said, voice catching on the word _servant_. "When I was eleven I found that I had a knack for fixing things, and that became my job. According to the Cyborg Protection Act, I belonged to her. And she treated me accordingly. Like property."

Kai shut his eyes. He'd had no idea. She'd gone through so much, and still she came out strong, still she refused to give up.

"She taunted me for not being able to cry," Cinder went on, and stopped the wrench in midair, clutching it in both hands. Her voice took on a steely tone. "For not being human."

Still she continued to surprise him.

"You _are_ human," he said. "You know that."

She finally looked up at him as he reached over and took her metal hand in both of his, rubbing the titanium knuckles. Was it his imagination, or did her breathing hiccup?

"I know," she murmured.

"You can 'bleed when you fall down', you know. No one would blame you; it's only natural."

Cinder laughed and brought up her other hand to cup their entwined fingers, warmth returning to her voice. "I know. I can 'crash and break down', too. Literally."

"If it's the last thing I do, I'll see cyborg equality to the end." It was out before Kai knew he would say it, but once he did, he knew that it was the truth. "I'll nullify the Cyborg Protection Act, start unraveling the prejudice."

She stilled, and something he couldn't identify sparked in her eyes. Their intensity startled and thrilled him.

"Did you do it for me, Kai?" she said softly. "Did you stop the draft for me?"

"You were my inspiration," he whispered.

They were both quiet for a moment. Cinder opened her mouth, about to say something, but a shout – _"Cinder!"_ rang through the walls.

They exchanged a glance.

"Want me to tell them you're taking a nap?" he asked.

Cinder grinned, and for a moment, it made her glow. But it wasn't a glamour. It wasn't an illusion. It was just her.

"Thanks," she said, and retracted her hands. She curled up in the chair again, in a comfortable sleeping position, and closed her eyes. A smile played around her lips, distracting him for a moment before he stood and left.

Yet as Kai was walking out the door, he thought he heard music – a few notes, whispered lyrics.

"You build me up and then I fall apart ..."

Kai turned back, stunned to hear Cinder _actually singing,_ but the words had already evaporated. She had turned to face the screen so that he couldn't see her face and, with quiet enveloping the control room again, he decided that he must have imagined it.


End file.
